Its getting harder and harder to deal with the loss. I have so far been able to partition off most of my feelings and not deal with them but that is not going to last for long. The shell I have created gets thinner each day and I am afraid that once the sadness escapes it will be overwhelming.
I have too many things to do and too much to keep straight to let it win, at least right now. When it is finally over, I will grieve. Harder and longer than I can imagine right now.
I have to go, the tears are welling and I have to wait with those.
1 comment:
Yeah, I've been thinking about it more and more and the things that I won't be doing in the future, the things that I can't do for mom or share with her. I'm not really sure how I'm going to handle it. Probably bury it for a while until I can figure out what to do with it. Kaytlin was a blessing. She will be my way of dealing. Just have to think that she will be where she wants to go. She will be with Grandma and Grandpa. Her faith makes me feel better. I will miss her more than I can imagine and hopefully sooner than later I will be able to be at peace with it. I just have to think how much she will still be with us everyday, same as she is now only in a quieter way.
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